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Over Exertion

This blog post was inspired by this Daily Inkling prompt from Matt. Thank you Matt!

I am that person who needs to do everything and wants to know everything. I like control because when things are in my control, I know i will be satisfied. Since I am this person, I easily take on to many things and then wonder why after a week I feel uninspired to do them anymore.

I am talking about my Internet hobbies, friends. This will be the story of how I wanted to do a million things at once and settled for my reality.

I will admit: this post was supposed to come out two days earlier than it did. Why didn’t it? I didn’t push myself to get it done shittly and decided that I could just postpone it so that it would be perfect.

Which is something I am proud of doing, by the way. But this post isn’t about that. It’s about me and my stupid brain telling me to do all the things. Warning: I ended up talking about my platforms like they were people. I don’t know how it happened, but it did and I dig it.

I have a blog. And I love my blog. We go through phases where we dislike each other sometimes because sometimes ideas to write about don’t come to me easily and I’m stuck looking at a blank draft I hate. But we love each other and always come back together.

Then I have my Youtube channel. We’re friends that are still learning about each other and how to work together and grow, but we have many common ideas and interests and want to grow together.

Twitch and I are in that awkward phase of being strangers and kind of friends. We run into each other a lot but don’t know how to make the first proper move. We’re thinking it will never happen but we’ll just keep running into each other.

And then there’s Fan Fiction. We make each other so, so happy but sometimes we drift apart. We don’t need to communicate every day to know that we love each other and when we get together it’s amazing and we have a good time.

These are the things that my brain wants to tell me to do all at the same time perfectly – and if I’m not doing them perfectly and growing them at an unrealistic rate than I am a failure. Which is complete bullshit and I am aware of it, but my brain does not turn off that stupid thought for some reason. I simultaneously think that I am a failure for not growing like others and that I’m not a failure and it’s annoying as hell. But you are all sick of hearing about that cause that seems to be my thing lately.

We’re here for me to declare that me trying to do 5 million things is a stupid idea and there fore, I’m only going to focus on 3 out of the 4 things – which is more than half still but let me explain.

Obviously my blog and Youtube channel are my first priorities. I feel like the schedule I have now is great – M/W/F I’m posting Youtube videos, and on T/T I’m writing on the blog (most days). This is great because across two platforms I’m putting something out every day of the week, and Youtube may increase if I have more ideas (which I have a feeling it might increase but we’ll see).

Fan fiction is something that I do when I’m bored or feel particularly inspired. I could never give it up because writing just makes me feel so happy. Nine times out of ten when I don’t feel like writing on here or playing Sims I’ll go write a bit of fan fiction and I’ll feel better. I’m a story writer – I have to get my ideas out before they make me crazy.

Twitch is just something that I can’t get myself to do. I know recently I only tried for about 4 days of straight streaming, but my Internet is just to cruddy for me to do it so I’d rather wait to get back into that when I am ready. So Twitch, goodbye for now.

Streaming, that is. I’m still gonna watch streamers every day cause why not.

So, how I am gonna attempt to stick to this? By making a graphic on social media for everybody to see and judge me for when I don’t stick to things, of course!

In all seriousness, I think this was a little therapeutic for me. Saying it outloud to 100+ people in this post has made me kind of realize that I can’t do everything that my brain tells me to and that instead I need to focus on just a few things that I know I can do without stressing myself out.

Until next time!

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1 Comment

  • Reply Tiffany

    I feel the same way about myself which is why I limit myself personally to one blog a week, and if only I could schedule everything else a bit better. I feel like I have a million things I want to do and I don’t always accomplish them. Sometimes it’s because I’m uninspired, lazy, or I have a headache. I can relate on the fanfiction front, I feel like sometimes forcing myself to write has helped a lot, so have listing to this fandom podcast/groups helps inspire me, and word sprints. I feel like I tell people that I update my blog every Tuesdays and I don’t always make that deadline so I think your doing better than I am 🙂

    August 22, 2019 at 3:54 am
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