Excuse me – I interrupt this Geek Out Challenge to scream about Star Wars. Two posts in one day. Aren’t you all lucky?
This was supposed to be out earlier in the week but I
forgot about it was so shook over Kylo Ren sopping wet that I just had to recover first.
Whoops. That was a spoiler. Let’s drop that warning and get onto business, shall we?
Before proceeding, read my spoiler warning here and proceed with caution.
I’m not telling you to watch it before moving on. We’ve done this rodeo before. Now let’s all stop crying so we can get onto the post. Am I the only one crying? Please say I’m not. God I’m a Star Wars weenie.
Anyways, the trailer starts out and we see Rey running through the jungle with her lightsaber. Is she running from something? Someone? Just training? We won’t find out until December. Then there’s a voice over that really fucks me up.
When I first listened to it I could have sworn it was Matt Smith (because he’s credited in the movie and if he is young Sheev I swear to god I will lose my shit right then and there) but after listening to it five million more times, alas, it is not.
After seeing Rey jumping around it flashes to Finn looking through binoculars on a sand planet – either Jakku or Tattooine and then we go to what we can safely assume is the new Resistance base because we can see LANDO if you look reeeeaalllll close and then Poe on the other side of him. You can also see 3PO and I think Rose? But no Leia unless she’s blending in real well.
We see single shots of Rose and Poe and Finn and stuff, and then it shoots over to the scene where Rey is standing on the remains of the Death Star in the pouring rain. She says “No one really knows me” and it’s all emotional and shit – and then Kylo says “But I do”.
And walks out sopping wet. In the rain.
I don’t CARE how many of you are surely annoyed with me right now, how many of you are sick of seeing it in my Twitter feed. I will never get over this. Wet Kylo Ren, I’m single and I’m ready to mingle. Call me any time, baby. I’m yours.
Moving on from Kylo – but don’t worry, we revisit him later. After Kylo speaks his only 3 words in the entire trailer we hear the one, the only, Palpatine speaking about how the two of them coming together is what will be their undoing. We see some sick shots of some fighters coming out of hyperspace and then what we can presume is dear ol’ Palpy’s new throne which looks sick as fuck, by the way. And then there’s a Star Destroyer coming OUT OF SOMETHING?
And the next shot has everyone all kinds of fucked up because it’s just a massive shot of the Falcon and a LOAD of other ships and everything. It’s got everyone all fucked up because of HOW MANY ships there are – the Rebel fleet is THRIVING, honey. And then there’s some shots of Rey and Kylo fighting, shit getting blown up and Rey’s ship falling into the Death Star remains.
And then the REAL emotional part happens. C3PO is getting hooked up and messed with by Babu Frik or the monkey dude and Poe asks whats going on. C3PO says he’s taking one last look at his friends. And thats when the tears started.
Because immediately after that we hear a remastered version of the regular theme song and it’s all downhill from there.
Finn, Poe and Chewie shoot stormtroopers. Rey and Kylo destroy what people are theorizing is Darth Vader’s mask. AND THEY HIT US WITH THE FUCKING SHOT OF LEIA AGAIN AND THATS WHEN MY TEARS STARTED KICKING IT UP. Rey is crying while she’s hugging her and I am crying too.
More shots of Finn being a badass with Poe and Chewie. We get a shot of BB8 which makes me happy. We see some heart warming stuff like Chewie and Lando in the Falcon but I’m still in tears over Leia at this point so my eyes are blurry but I like what I’m seeing.
Also they done put horses in space and I dig it. And it looks like it’s going to be one hell of a fucking battle. There’s ships, space horses, lightsabers… I’m going to be all sorts of fucked up with this one, friends.
And then we get this. I stop crying for five seconds and take the time to drool instead. Someone needs to tell Kylo Ren that I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to be that good looking and that he needs to report to me for his punishment because this is bullshit in all the best ways. I don’t understand it. He’s so pretty. Why is he so pretty, I wonder as the trailer clicks on. I have images of Kylo Ren dancing in my head as the trailer nears its end.
We see Rey in front of who we can assume is Palpatine, by the way. There’s some laughing and it just sounds like good old Sheev.
I’m still thinking of Kylo Ren. The music stops and we hear Luke say “The Force Will be With You.”
And then it cuts to Leia saying “Always” and let me tell you, I need some buckets to collect my tears from that. I’ve watched this trailer 100 times and that one line alone convinces me that I can probably end droughts with my tears. Not to mention its on top of an extremely emotional looking shot of Rey.
But Space Mom saying Always was damn near enough to get me to need water to rehydrate myself after all the tears I’ve shed.
So what did I think?
I’m in tears again. I had to rewatch it again to grab all those screenshots and make sure everything was in the write order as I wrote it and I am fucking sobbing. Everyone is saying how they want it all to end and they’ll be pissed if it’s not their way. I just don’t want Kylo to die – do anything else, but lord help me kill Kylo Ren and I will riot in the theater.
But anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Go drink some water to rehydrate yourselves from the tears and until the movie comes out, god speed.
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